A contained chaos
7 Sep
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Moving has been very draining and stressful, but also rewarding. Late last night I was confronted with some of the rough-around-the-edges parts of my new apartment and felt like I'd never be able to get them truly cleaned. But this morning I feel much more optimistic. I've already tried several yummy vegan places nearby, and there's a nail art boutique salon on my block I want to go to, too. I'd say we've unpacked about 70% (conservative estimate) with just a few boxes to go. At that point I'll do a deep clean to my heart's content. The bathroom feels like a sanctuary. It's really only the kitchen that made me feel squeamish, but that's more owed to my cleanliness obession than any objective grossness. Bruno has been barking at the new apartment noises, but gets more used to it each day. I've been taking breaks to read Teatro Grottesco, a collection of horror gothic short stories that are each so delectably bite-sized, yet terrifying. The author does such an amazing job of writing esoteric prose that feels like an actually comprehensible stream of consciousness — even in the moments describing impossible phenomena, I find that I can glean all the creepy details without needing to closely read each passage. In other words, it's scary in a way that's both esoteric yet easy to understand because it's narrated in a clear way that's not too surreal, despite the surreal subject matter. My favorite story so far has been the self-titled one, "Teatro Grottesco," describing a transient troupe of psychic villains that exclusively terrorize artists with horrible visions, eventually stripping them of their artistic abilities and ultimately their humanity. (It's really good, I promise.) If you're into horror gothic, I highly recommend it.
A needed respite
1 Sep
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Just got back from a weekend trip to see Mitski and Alvvays in concert. A dream lineup that coincided with me & my partner's five-year anniversary! Obviously booked many months ago, because we're also moving the day after tomorrow! Made sure I was mostly packed before we headed out. I feel so giddy whenever I get to visit a train station and use different forms of public transport; it's so exciting to me. I just think transitory spaces like that are so cool and interesting. As someone who doesn't drive and has lived in one place all my life, I treasure getting to experience the grander scale of things; how you can have breakfast in one state and end the day in another, and the whole process is (more often than not) totally seamless. The concert was amazing; our seats were so close. Closer than I've been to the stage for a Mitski show in a long time. Off to the side, just a couple of rows back. And the size of the venue was impressive. There's an ampitheatre structure and a huge lawn even further back, with the whole venue set in a larger park. A hybrid indoor-outdoor vibe, but our seats were pretty much covered from the elements. Then the concert, which was everything I'd hoped it would be. Brodie had never seen Mitski live; it's been harder to get tickets the longer I've been a fan, so I usually go solo — something I really enjoy doing, like going to the movies alone. But obviously sharing in this transcendent performance on the fifth anniversary of our first date was incredibly special. During the remainder of the two days we spent away, we enjoyed really tasty local vegan food and treats, and even managed to go bowling. They had arcade versions of Mario Kart, which is always such a treat. I'm so much better in the kart seat than the console version; it's just so much more intuitive. Now that we're home, we have another day to pack up any remaining odds and ends before the move. A really special weekend. ♡
A new chapter
17 Aug
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I'm moving to the city! For all non-New Yorkers, we from the outer boroughs & the tristate area collectively refer to Manhattan as "the city." I'm moving from a one-bedroom to a two-bedroom, although the rooms are smaller on average. I'll also have less counter space, less cabinet space, and fewer closets. Some may wonder why I would choose less space on average, and it's kind of hard to justify unless you have ever lived in NYC. There's something about stepping out into the city where life is happening all around you. It's an indescribable feeling I'm willing to make sacrifices for. It's the feeling of sonder — feeling infinitesimally small, but also cherished by the universe. Right now, I live in a quiet, sleepy neighborhood in the outer boroughs, and I can't wait to be able to step outside and feel the rush of city life all around me. I'll get to walk Bruno along the river at the golden hour. I'll get to have more frequent, shorter outings instead of planning an entire day around the time-consuming commute in & out of the city. This is a dream I've had since I was really young, when my mom would drive us out to the city every weekend to visit the Met or see a play, ballet, or opera. I knew that someday I'd want to live where life was truly happening. In two weeks, it'll be my reality.
It's funny, reading this back — because despite everything I've said, I still very much consider myself an introvert. I think it's because the anonymity that exists in big cities like this is actually a great comfort. You can go outside and still focus entirely on your inner world, while everyone else does the same. That might sound self-absorbed to some, but there's also an implicit agreement in there to mutually respect each others' lives, even as complete strangers. That's one of the things I love most about living here.
A new hobby
19 July
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I started a diamond painting last Friday and managed to finish it by Monday. I've already bought my next one. I remember doing one when I was younger and losing interest. This time I'm totally engrossed. It's almost thrilling! Update: I got my next one in the mail and it's comically large. I'm afraid it'll look tacky if I display it. I'm disappointed in myself for underestimating the dimensions online.
The garden is live
11 July
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I just started a new job, so the last couple of weeks have been a (wonderful) whirlwind. But I'm finally happy enough with my new theme to start writing. Hydrangeas are in full bloom and I want to immortalize the feeling I get when I walk by a brilliant blue or purple cluster. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo to do just that (maybe on side/back of calf). It's swelteringly hot these days but by sunset there's a gentle breeze that's a delight to walk around in. My goal for the rest of the summer is more reading outside, more eating outside, and developing a nice, consistent cadence of going to the gym.
A fresh start
30 June
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Introducing my shiny new layout. Please be patient while I surface all my content!